Have Better 1:1 Meetings by Talking Less and Drawing More
Add lightness, play & safety to challenging conversations in 30 seconds
When your boss wants you to work on being more “[insert quality here]”, this quick and playful game brings lightness, openness and safety to the conversation.
Take, for example…
… “You’d do well to be more ASSERTIVE in the room.”
… “I get feedback I need to work on INFLUENCE.”
It sounds easy and feels impossible, doesn’t it? If it came naturally to you you’d already be doing it. That thing your boss wants more of — it’s a real edge for you.
It’s likely you’re both using the same word to describe radically different ideas, and that is creating unnecessary conflict, confusion or rigidity.
MENTAL MODELS
Conflicts can arise when two people think they’re talking about the same thing — hey, they’re using the same word, when in reality they hold different mental models. They’re talking about different ideas, and haven’t realized yet.
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” (Rich by Marillion)
Here’s a super easy and radical way to open up this conversation (with plenty of additional benefits).
Draw It!
🖍️ grab a pen and paper each
🖍️ you both have 30 seconds to draw a picture of the word
🖍️ when you think of [INFLUENCE*] right now, what do you think of?
🖍️ you cannot use words or numbers, just drawing
Role, title, status, money are all poor predictors of drawing skill. This game is a great leveller. It invites vulnerability, humility and playfulness, from even the most hardened CEO.
Now you go first to model how this works.
🖍️ show your picture to your partner
🖍️ ask them to say what they see and make meaning from it
🖍️ (they don’t get to be wrong, or right)
🖍️ you get to share your intent if different
🖍️ switch over and repeat
What just happened?
🎉 you’ve explicitly advocated your view of [influence*]
🎉 you’ve helped your boss surface their view of [influence*]
🎉 you’ve expanded your definition in light of their guesswork/intuition.
🎉 you both know much better where you stand.
🎉 you’re both equally terrible at the same thing (drawing)
🎉 you both have more examples to discuss, and enhanced options for specificity about expectations.
In writing this article I gave myself 4 minutes to draw “influence” in as many ways as I could. What do you make of it?
When you think about “influence” right now, what do you think of?
